Nerfin' ain't easy, but it's necessary.

Have you ever tried to clarify the truth for someone only to make matters much, much worse? I do this a lot, usually by talking. But when we were in Serbia, my friend Eric and I took it to a whole new level.

We had it in our heads that the world view of the typical American is of a gun-toting cowboy, gangster, or rapper. We decided with a very ill-advised firmness that we would dispel these myths. We would show the world that Americans are not savages armed to the teeth and desperate for blood.

We proceeded by explaining that not all Americans own guns. It's allowed, but it is not required. Eric explained that he did not own a gun and did not feel the need to own a gun. I explained that I, too, felt perfectly safe without any firearms tucked beneath my pillow. And then I may have mentioned that my neighbor feels differently. I may have mentioned that he has, not one gun, but many... a locker full... pistols and rifles and shotguns... and a flak-jacket... and some swords. Anyway, I waved this off as being rather excessive and that few Americans see the need for such an arsenal. But then I also mentioned that, while unnecessary, guns are a lot of fun. A LOT of fun. I didn't go detail-crazy, but I did mention that my neighbor had been gracious enough to take me out a few times to the firing range. And then I reiterated that it was fun.

And in an attempt to keep "fun" at the forefront of the conversation, we brought up Nerf guns, which Eric and I find both necessary AND fun. They apparently don't have Nerf guns in Serbia, so we explained to the small crowd of very confused Serbs just what Nerf guns are and why everyone needs ten of them.

This is the picture we painted: Nerf guns are brightly-colored plastic toys that use compressed air to launch foam darts, sometimes tipped with suction cups, sometimes not, at children and animals.

This, I imagine, is what THEY imagined:


When, in actuality, THIS is what we were trying to describe:


Eric is actually one of the pastors at our church and he used part of this story in a sermon last Sunday and he postulated that the Serbs with whom we had spoken went back to their friends and told them, "It's so much worse than we thought."

I didn't bother explaining the art of modifying your Nerf guns so they can shoot over your house. That might have gotten us deported.

Thank you,
Matt Beers