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Friday, July 29, 2011

I'm pretty sure my actual "glory days" had more police involvement...

Betsy and I have reached a very wonderful time in our marriage. We have agreed mutually that it's totally cool if she takes the kids to Oklahoma for five days to visit her family while I stay home. So, here I am, all alone in this big, empty house. What's a guy to do? Well, I'll tell you...

Matt Re-Lives His Glory Days (Day 1)

It's not all fun and games, you know. I did have to work today. Sort of. This is what I did with the daycare kids...

The plan is that we'll build a whole town (which the daycare kids have named "Betty City,") and then set it all up on a table and add little cars and things like that. What I haven't yet explained to the kids is that Betty City is being built between Angry Mutant Reptile City and Giant Killer Robotville. This won't end well.

As soon as the daycare kids left I rolled in the big-screens. Just two of them. I don't know why I would need all three at once. Besides, there isn't room. I checked.

With no kids to be negatively influenced, I immediately shoved Pulp Fiction into the DVD player and turned it up. I spent the rest of the day playing Lego Star Wars and listening to Quentin Tarantino try to direct himself. It was so much fun that eight o'clock rolled around and I realized that I had forgotten to eat. I rushed right out and bought a delicious sausage roll (with onions and green olives) and a lovely cherry pie. I then sat down and watched an episode of Flight of the Conchords while attempting to eat the entire sausage roll (I failed).

For more information on Pulp Fiction and Flight of the Conchords, see below:

I now sit here writing all of this down as if it would be interesting to anyone but me... and I'm realizing at this very moment that it isn't even interesting to me. But I refuse to be depressed. There's a whole cherry pie on the counter and I don't see anyone else around here that I need to share with.

Thank you,
      Matt Beers

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