You see, I'm a rather portly fellow, and I enjoy laying about in my hammock. But the hammock was designed, not for the relaxation of portly fellows, but for the entertainment of anyone watching said portly fellow attempt to get into or out of said hammock. This embarrassing effect is amplified by, like, a bajillion if the hammock is mounted upon a free-standing frame. MY hammock is mounted on a free-standing frame. This keeps me from enjoying the hammock as often as I would like. But today... Ohhh, today...
Today, this happened:
Please note the swings and other child-related apparatuses (which, I checked, is a real word, while "apparati" is not, unfortunately) scattered about the ground. I expect that some of you are having trouble coping with the genius which you are witnessing. This may manifest itself in various forms, such as denial. This denial, in its most severe form, may even cause you to utter the question, "But what about the kids?" That kind of talk will get you slapped, a fact "the kids" and "the wife" have already discovered.
Thank you,
Matt Beers
It's good to know you've got your priorities straight!
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