Today is my wife's birthday. In honor of her, I will review two of her favorite movies.
Twilight. (2008) PG-13
I'm assuming that the majority of my readers, being of the more scholarly variety, will need the plot explained to them in very great detail. I will attempt to do so now.
Twilight is about a little girl named Dora the Explorer. She has a pet monkey named Yoda who desperately needs a kidney. Her insurance company refuses to pay for the kidney. This leads Dora to seek out a kidney on the black market, which is where she meets a handsome young vampire named Count Chocula. Dora falls head-over-backpack in love with the Count, but, after running through the woods a lot, Count Chocula tells her to get lost, which is impossible as Dora has a magic map.
At one point Dora is on the verge of selling her soul in order to become the greatest blues musician in history, but the Count busts in and tells her that there's more money in boy bands. So, she has a sex-change and, with Count Chocula as her manager, she tours the country with her cousins Diego, Handy Manny, and George Lopez. Their tour bus rear-ends an ice-cream truck and they are all burned alive.
The end.
Pride and Prejudice (2005) PG
I've never seen it and I wouldn't want to do it an injustice by making up a bunch of ridiculous stuff just to fulfill an obligation.
Happy birthday, Betsy! I love you, but I hate your taste in movies.
Thank you,
Matt Beers
Seriously, you should see Pride and Prejudice, if not for enjoyment, at least for enlightenment and some cultural education. Better yet, read the book. I'm sure your Bibliomaniac friends would agree with me here.
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