VHS must stand for "Very Highly Satisfying."

I stumbled upon a gold mine this evening. And I have my computer to thank for it. Allow me to extrapolate the details. I don't know what I just said. Well, that's never stopped me before...

My computer is a wretched lump of silicon and plastic... not unlike Joan Crawford (I don't really know much about Ms. Crawford, but I hear that she was awful, just awful,)... and at some point in the past few days iTunes made a request which inspired a crisis of confidence somewhere in my C-drive. My computer now has all the self-assurance of Bob Wiley and has therefore been tackling each task with baby-steps.

For more information on Bob Wiley and his many hilarious afflictions, watch this:


Yeah. That's pretty much what my computer has been doing the past day and a half.

I don't know boatloads about computers, but I do know a bit. A mega-bit! See? That was a computer joke.

I did some anti-virus stuff and some defragmentation and I deleted a few programs that were eating up valuable memory... pretty basic stuff. However, my computer has been very cautious and is going about these processes at essentially the speed of a Speak & Spell. So rather than settle down and do the work that I actually had hoped to do this evening, I found myself digging through a drawer of old VHS tapes from many, many years ago. The following is an incomplete list of the programming that I or my wife deemed worthy of recording...

several episodes of Space Ghost Coast To Coast,
one episode of Sealab 2021,
one episode of Perfect Strangers,
one episode of WWF Monday Night Raw,
VH1 Behind the Music: Sublime,
the final episode of Seinfeld,
a dozen episodes of The Simpsons,
the Beastie Boys' "Intergallactic" video (three times in a row),
several History Channel programs about experimental WWII aircraft,
commercials for Parker Lewis Can't Lose, Beverly Hills 90210, Lady Stetson perfume,
a Minute Maid commercial with Patrick Ewing spinning a can on his finger,
a Pepsi/Super Nintendo commercial starring Bo Jackson,
a cinematic trailer for Dutch, and the VHS release of Home Alone (a steal at just $24.98),
countless half-episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000,
and much, much more!

Anyway, my computer has summoned enough courage to allow me these few minutes of blogging enjoyment, which I promptly squandered.

Thank you,
      Matt Beers