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Sunday, May 9, 2010

Pia-no thanks.

The garage sale is over and done with and it was an incredible success. I would like to share with you a few of the things I have learned.

1. People want cheap kids' clothes.

2. People DO NOT want books or pianos.

3. People will come from very far away to shake their heads sadly at your under-priced treasures.

4. You know that dirty plastic playhouse that has haunted your backyard for years, harboring large spiders and abandoned birds' nests until you can't stand the sight of it and so you've hosed it off, dragged it to the front yard and slapped a $5 price tag on? Your neighbors will buy it and you now get to stare at it for another five years.

5. You will hear, "This Star Wars action figure is worth way more than (insert dollar amount)," from people who have no idea what they're talking about.

6. People will assume that, since you're sitting in your garage selling things, it's okay to let their kids run around and play with everything like angry crackheads.

7. You won't have a customer for hours. But the minute a car pulls up, your wife will ask for your help inside.

8. People will show more interest in the things in your garage that AREN'T for sale.

9. People think that "haggling" means offering you $5 for an entertainment center that is clearly marked at $30. They will then mutter mean things under their breath when you turn them down.

10. No matter where you put your "Garage Sale" sign, a neighbor WILL park in front of it for the duration of your sale.

11. The Salvation Army doesn't want your junk, either.

I hope you can benefit from my experience.

Thank you,
Matt Beers

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