iMeth

Back in January I bought an iPod Touch. They should call it the iPod Out Of Touch. Nary a minute goes by when I'm not ignoring my wife or kids because of the world that Apple has put in my hand. I had a rare moment of clarity last week, however. My wife was talking, like she does, and at some point I must have listened because I was somehow made aware that she was concerned with how much time I was spending on Facebook, playing Angry Birds, dominating people in Words With Friends, checking the Weather, reading the News From Around the World, Googling Earth, watching videos on the YouTube... or is it MeTube since I'm talking about myself?... Instagramming, Pandora-ing, Netflicking... all of that stuff.

She was totally right. I'm a junkie. Action needed to be taken, so I took it.

First I had my friend Evan punch in a super secret code so I can't change my restriction settings, then I proceeded to turn off access to Safari, the iTunes App store, and Facebook. Then I pretty much stopped playing Words With Friends because I've got 10 (ten) games going on right now and they just keep piling up. So, now all I use my iPod for is music, Netflix, IMDb, email, and the occasional Angry Birds game.

I'd forgotten how blue the sky was.

Thank you,
      Matt Beers

She's a techno-klepto!

Some of you may recall that I recently purchased an iPod Touch with money I received in lieu of Christmas and birthday gifts. Well, I have apparently been spending far too much time with it because, by mere observation, my 18-month old daughter, Zoe, has figured out how to use it. Watch this...



When I was a kid, it was very popular to comment on not letting "the television be the babysitter." Nowadays, people HOPE their kids will spend more time watching TV. It means they're home and not off dealing smack or mugging an elderly couple or disposing of a body or, if you're from my part of the world, holed up in a rusty tool shed cooking up crystal meth.

And here I am, an actual, and I hesitate to self-apply the term, "babysitter" whose youngest child has mastered technology that hadn't been invented until about two-and-a-half months ago. I'm shuttling back and forth between extreme shame and overwhelming pride. It's the same thing when I stand naked in front of a mirror.

Thank you,
      Matt Beers