Nobody's complaining.

This evening, my wife and I were sitting together at the kitchen table. She, watching adoption videos on the intertube, I, gluing orange tissue paper to an old jar. She was teary-eyed and pensive and I was cursing at the glue.

This made me remember a very good rule when one is single and looking for a mate: "Marry up," meaning, simply, that you should marry someone better than you.

Of course, this is utterly impossible, as anyone worth marrying has better sense than to be suckered in by someone like you, right? Well, dear loser, I once thought like you, until I met Betsy. She was beautiful, funny, energetic, friendly, she loved God, and, best of all, she seemed to like me. Long story short, I hoodwinked her long enough to get a ring on her finger. Eight years later, I'm cursing at glue.

Thank you, Betsy, for making life so much fun... and for making sure things get cleaned 'cause I never think to do that and I shudder (I'm shuddering right now, in fact) to think what the house would look like without you. Lots of Star Wars posters, I'm guessing, and a wall in the living room made entirely of empty Cherry Coke cans.

Thank you, 200lb reader, for reading.

      Matt Beers