Is it "lying" or "laying"?

I'm lying or laying in bed with my laptop on my lap and I can barely see over my belly to write this post. I'm not fat, I just have distended abs.

What to say, what to say... I guess I could mention that Betsy and I have picked a color and plan on painting our bedroom sometime in the next week, but posting that would be even more boring than the color we picked, which is called Cream Ware. What? That's not a color, that's... I don't know what it is, but it isn't a color.

Perhaps I could point out that I have a piano and several hundred books still sitting in my garage. But that just makes me sad.

I would like very much to tell you all about the guitar I made today. I would like to tell you how I took an old guitar that wasn't very good and pieced it out and rebuilt it using a small box to make a kind of three-stringed ukulele. I would like to tell you that it was a learning experience, but in the end I found myself holding a pretty good-looking instrument that sounded very decent. But that would be a lie. It looks pretty much like you would expect and somehow sounds worse than you could possibly imagine.

I could mention my recent obsession with Nerf blasters, but I think that would just be embarrassing.

Instead of all of those things, I will not post anything. I will simply go to sleep and dream about Lost.

Thank you,
Matt Beers