My doctor is a moron.

So, she didn't come right out and say it, but my doctor thinks I'm fat and that if I don't do something soon I'm going to die. So she put me on a diet. And she told me to get more exercise. And I'm not doing very well with either of those things.

About a week ago Betsy and I started doing this Shaklee detox thing. This is what my dinner looks like.

Delicious.

The green things are alfalfa. The other green things are an herbal laxative. The big white things are fiber. I have no idea what the alfalfa does, but I'm very aware of what the other two are for.

Anyway, next week I stop the detox super-poo-pills and start on nutritional supplements. I'm looking forward to my b-hole no longer being a volcano.

So, about the diet. I'm not supposed to eat chocolate, pastries, fried anything... I can eat all the vegetables I want, which I already do, which is none, which is a big part of the problem. I'm supposed to avoid all sugary drinks and most hard cheeses.

I'm not entirely sure that Cherry Coke counts as a sugary drink and "most hard cheeses" seems pretty vague to me, so I'm gonna use my best judgment on that one. I've also determined that brownies aren't pastries or chocolate, technically, and they may, in fact, be classified as a vegetable. And I'm expected to forgo any alcoholic beverages, as well, but as Irish Cream is *barely* alcoholic and I dilute it with milk and ice, I think it passes.

Weight loss is easy! You just have to find the diet that works for you.

Thank you,
Fatt Beers